Ripple Connection Question Of The Week

Ripple Connection Questions are a unique way to engage people in conversation. Whether with a complete stranger or someone you already know, but want to know better, using Ripple Connection Questions (RCQ) accelerate the dialogue and deepen the connection. The questions are by design, fun to ask and fun to answer, and can take your connection to an entirely new level. Come on, break out of that shell of yours and start Rippling.

So with no further adieu....this week's Ripple Connection Question is:

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO
BE DOING IF YOU WEREN'T
DOING WHAT YOU ARE
DOING RIGHT NOW?

I love using this question at networking events and pulling it out before someone can ask me "So Steve what do you do?" The uniqueness of the order of words is always perfect for creating a temporary brain scramble on someone who is used to the same old boring way of networking. This question gives people a reason to pause and to really contemplate what you have just asked them and the answers you will get will simply amaze you.

For example here are some I recently received which gave me great insight and massive opportunities to stir some new connections in an entirely different (and much more fun) direction at a recent networking event (I had to attend).

Ted - Insurance Agent - Would rather be a gourmet cook with a little bistro in the South of France

Marianne - Army Recruiter - Would rather be a professional skydiving instructor and work only with kids from broken homes to teach them what is possible when they push themselves

Mark - Salesman - Would like to be a whitewater raft guide. He only feels at true peace when he is the mountains.

Suzanne - Stay-At-Home-Mom - Would rather travel the country (with kids in tow of course!) promoting a children's book that teaches valuable lessons.

No matter who the question is asked of you will undoubtedly find that everyone can come up with something that person would rather be doing. And the details of what that something is can open up a world of possibilities and connection for you both. Give it a try this week and see what kinds of Ripples this powerful little question can create for your connections!


Ripple On!!!

You Can Have An Effect - Sometimes You Just Need A Reminder

So yesterday I had to take my Ford Explorer back into the dealership for service. I have had a leak that despite multiple attempts to fix it hasn't been fixed. Yesterday I had had enough after seeing the rather large pool of fluid sitting on my garage floor yesterday morning. I had a very full morning and a lunch meeting but decided that I was going to go out to the dealership and raise some hell.

I was mad driving out there. It's bad enough that the dealership is somewhat of a drive for me but I have been out there so much over the past year that the service advisers no longer need to ask me for my name so they can fill out their service ticket. They are a very nice group but the simple fact was I was angry at having to see them again and it was putting me "in a mood."

My regular service adviser was not in when I arrived but the gentleman that helped me was very nice. He immediately sensed my frustration and offered to delay my day no further and offered me a rental car. My blood pressure calmed a bit and I appreciated his proactive approach to at least helping make my bad situation better in some small way. He pointed me to the waiting area and asked me to "make myself comfortable" until the rental car agent could come by and bring me my car. I remember thinking 'great, waiting around with nothing to do.'

I arrived in the waiting room to find a older man sitting in the chairs watching Dr. Phil. He wore a black baseball cap that indicated he had fought in both World War Two and Korea. He had brought old "Bessie," his Ford 250 horse hauling truck in to have the mirror replaced. Apparently his son and law couldn't handle such a powerful beast as Bessie and he sideswiped a mailbox with the mirror, breaking it.

He and I exchanged a few pleasantries and some ongoing commentary about the crazy beauty pageant ladies who were being counseled by Dr. Phil. He was a delightful man full of spark and personality and seemed to enjoy the company. He moved a few chairs closer to "visit" and I suspect to hear a little bit better.

He told me about living on a small little spec of land out yonder and how his truck had seen many a mile of this great state. Not a lick of problems with that "old Ford"; I wish I could be so lucky. We could have made polite chit chat for the rest of the time but I decided to ask about his hat.

His eyes lit up when I asked about his hat and his apparent service in our military. He sat up straighter, spoke stronger and almost seemed to take on a completely different personality altogether. He told me he had joined the Navy in 1944 because it was his only option out of the cotton fields. He spun stories of all his adventures both state side and beyond and spoke of some of the action his crew had seen but oddly didn't seem to want to talk about much of that.

He left the service in 1948 in hopes of making a better life for himself. He went to refrigeration school in Dallas and did well but soon found his job prospects somewhat limited. He rejoined the military but this time in the Army. He met his wife and was shipped off overseas to "fight the fight."

He simply transformed as he talked to me. Apparently he said he suffered from post traumatic syndrome and the "boys in his unit" thought him crazy. He claimed he wasn't crazy but just scared. The night terrors as he described them were almost unbearable and he was eventually given his walking papers and sent on back home to Texas. The sparkle seemed to trickle out of his eyes at that point; replaced by some barely noticeable tears.

"Here I've been ever since," he said almost apologetically.

I could have stayed and talked with him for hours. He was fascinating. To me it seemed like he hadn't had much of a chance to talk to anyone about what we shared in those few precious moments. It seemed really, really good for him and I was so glad that I had asked about his hat. Thinking back it could have been so easy to ignore what is obviously a powerful connection point to him and his life. What a shame that would have been!

As the rental car lady tapped me on the shoulder, I stood up and thanked him. I thanked him for his service to our country and for doing his duty and told him I was truly glad to know him. Big tears welled up in his eyes and he mumbled something barely audible. I asked him to repeat it but he looked down as if embarrassed by whatever he had said. He held my hand with a firm grip and said, "Nice talking with you fella."

It was nice talking with you too!

Think you can't make an impact on someone's day? I am glad my Ford (Fix Or Repair Daily - no joke!) had a problem and that I was led to that waiting area yesterday afternoon. Even the Ripple guy needs a wake up call and reminder every now and then.

Have a great weekend my friends.

Ripple On!!!

Ripple Connection Question Of The Week

Ripple Connection Questions are a unique way to engage people in conversation. Whether with a complete stranger or someone you already know, but want to know better, using Ripple Connection Questions (RCQ) accelerate the dialogue and deepen the connection. The questions are by design, fun to ask and fun to answer, and can take your connection to an entirely new level. Come on, break out of that shell of yours and start Rippling.

So with no further adieu....this week's Ripple Connection Question is:

WHAT IS ONE OF YOUR MOST
FAVORITE CHILDHOOD MEMORIES?

This time of year as the Super Bowl approaches, it would be easy to say football for me. I fancied myself a backyard (or actually front yard) football hero. I had this old Nerf football that I would use and I would, for hours, self-hike the ball to myself and toss it on my parents house and wait for it to come down for a completion. Passes that were thrown on the first story were good for a single completion; I needed two for a first down. Passes that were thrown on the second story would come down much faster and much more unpredictable which made them so much more fun to catch. They of course were good for an automatic first down so I went for them a lot! Hey no guts, no glory right?

I would sit out there for hours and pretend I was leading my beloved Dallas Cowboys down the field for that Super Bowl win. I especially loved this time of year as a snow game added to the flare and excitement of a Steve Harper, Dallas' overlooked and yet undiscovered future franchise quarterback, led win.

I didn't win all of them as to make it fair, I had to play both teams; Dallas and whoever they might be up against that week. And in the battle field of the Harper front yard stadium, there were many tough opponents and very few easy wins. But the wins that I did have will be forever etched in my mind and the memories will forever make me smile.

So what about you? What's your answer to this week's Ripple Connection Question? Use this question with the people who cross you path in life and I guarantee you will open up a plethora of great material from which a deeper more meaningful relationship can be built.

Ripple On!!!

Ripple Connection Question Of The Week

Ripple Connection Questions are a unique way to engage people in conversation. Whether with a complete stranger or someone you already know, but want to know better, using Ripple Connection Questions (RCQ) accelerate the dialogue and deepen the connection. The questions are by design, fun to ask and fun to answer, and can take your connection to an entirely new level. Come on, break out of that shell of yours and start Rippling.

How about we collectively make 2008 the year of connection? What do you say?

Seriously, why not use this brand spanking new year as our launch pad to make deeper more meaningful connections with the people who cross our path or already in our life somehow? The connections we make, and make better, will absolutely springboard you into something amazing for 2008 I promise. Why not use the Ripple Connection Questions to help you get started?

So with that in mind, this week's Ripple Connection Question Of The Week is:

WHAT EXCITES YOU MOST ABOUT
THE UPCOMING YEAR?

For me this is an easy one to answer....

It's all the possibilities that 2008 holds for me. I want to do more trainings, more workshops, give more talks and speeches, write my second (and maybe a third) book. But most of all...the one thing that excites me most about 2008 is all the new and incredibly helpful people I plan to bring into my life through the power of connection. Yes, its the stories I will hear, the faces I will see, the experiences I will have by not fearing to take a chance and connect with someone new. After all, I do believe that someone or something will have brought them into my path for a reason. It's the discovery part of why that makes it most exciting for me.

So what about you? What is your answer?

Use The Holidays To Discover

So the holidays are here and for many of us that means spending hours, sometimes days, with family; many of which we don't get to see all that often. Whether it be with the grandparents, parents, cousins, in-laws, extended family, our own children, spouses and/or significant others an opportunity to do something very special is available to us all. It's an opportunity to learn about these people we call family. I don't mean just catching up on how people are doing physically or how the new job is going....I mean really learning about the people themselves.

When you take a broader look at our time on Earth, we realize that time is not infinite. For many of us the next year may or may not be our last. The time we all have here is so precious and yet so many of us spend our time focused on the things that aren't all that important. In fact, we fail to connect with those in our family on a level that reveals much about them at all. Sad when you think about that sister of yours that you know less about than the woman who sits in the cubicle next to yours isn't it?

Use the holidays to ask the insightful questions. Ask grandpa when he was your age what he dreamed he would be when he finally grew up. Ask your cousin what they are truly passionate about and what makes them tick. Ask the elders of your family how your family came to be and what they think of the family as it is today. Spend the time asking your mom and dad questions that let them be Jim and Janet (my parent's names) rather than mom and dad.

Is this hard? I won't lie to you....it can be. Especially if your a family that doesn't truly know one another. But families should know one another don't you think? So when you decided to really get to know the people who you seldom see but really should know better, blame it on your old buddy Steve. Tell him this crazy Ripple author guy suggested this as a way to pass the time over the holidays. Blame me if it eases the reason for doing it, but no matter what, do it.

As most of you know, my mom has Alzheimer's disease. There are so many of those Christmas afternoons I wish I had back. I wish I could spend that time not looking at the cool loot I had just been given but really talking, really communicating with her. I know she had to have had hopes, dreams, fears, opinions, things that excited her but my friends, I never asked about them. I now sit here writing this post and realize that her disease has robbed her of her mind and me of the opportunity to have known what once was floating around in there. I really never knew my mom and that makes me sad.

Don't make the same mistake. Everyone has a story and like I preach incessantly throughout my BLOG, my book and my speeches and training, you just have to have the courage to ask.

Use the holidays to do some asking won't you.

Ripple On My Friends!!!


Steve